Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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