So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Welp...herpes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize