I didn't shave. On purpose
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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