I could make wine with my vomit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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