please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...