Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
