The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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