I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i think my cat just said my name.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
