I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
