Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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