so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
