You smell like stripper and shame
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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