She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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