Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize