btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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