She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
