Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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