I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
