Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We need a shit load of segways right now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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