My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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