And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
