she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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