How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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