my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
