I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
