They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
