guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
