I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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