At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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