I cannot find my penis.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize