see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
