So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
