we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
