Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
