seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize