My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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