There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
