That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
