My sheets look like a crime scene.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize