how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
