That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drunk is not a location!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
