it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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