why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
