she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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