i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
