I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Randomize
