shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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