Who did Billy Mays play for?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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