We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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