The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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