i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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