Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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