Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
