He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
