i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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