Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
