direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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