i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
