Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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