A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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