I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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