I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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